20 Ciri Lelaki Ubërseksual (i)

Salaam semua. Harini saya mau kongsi satu sesuatu berkenaan lelaki. Well, if you can manipulate it somehow, you may get some advantages, like for women; they can use this as guidance to look up for their life partner, and men can follow this list to be a hot stuff <seemingly>.

NadJoliey pernah menulis dalam blognya pasal 'Facts About Girls?: Let's See Berapa Yang Kena'. It is quite an interesting thing to be read with a mug of coffee in hand. To be pondered upon, to be implemented. Memang kebanyakan fakta pasal wanita yang dia tulis berlawanan dengan persepsi saya sebelum neh. 

So, lemme counter her entry. We'll see which gender is weirder. Gahahah. OK-lah, be serious. Uhm <tarik nafas dan lepaskannya, merasionalkan pemikiran>. Saya ada terbaca bha, somewhere somehow these points about man. I mean, about true man and what kind of man women crave for <macam pelik jaa "crave for" o.O>. Saya mau komen, and kongsi pendapat.

1. Tanned-skinned man is way sexier

Well, this seems to be a bit apartheid. Sebenarnya, point neh bergantung kepada faktor budaya dan negara jugak bhaa. In Korea, for instance; they adore men with tanned skin, instead of white beings. Albeit we here lionize them for their whiteness, we here have been envied for such beautiful skin. Orang kata sawo matang dan hitam manis. It's all about Sod's Law, right?

Dalam negara kita, terdapat jugak sebahagian wanita yang prefer tanned-skinned men. They think it is cool to have a tall man of that type, sebab lelaki yang berkulit putih ternyata nampak agak "auwwwiiyy!" dan djambu. Gahh <sorry farahida ibrahim, BF kau gagal point pertama>.

2. Lelaki yang berbutang baju sehingga ke atas sekali nampak provokatif

Imma nerd, and I buttoned my shirt up to the top... problem??

Waahahah. Lucu oh, neh fakta. Kalau macam neh, saya seksilah tuu <gahh. :D> I'm not sure about it's validity and the truth behind it, but lets just assume it is true. What can we extract out of it?

Well, as far as I could think of, man who button his shirt up to the top is rather conservative/secretive. They hide 'something', and won't let others see what he has under his sleeve. Some suggests this man is typical of having pets or liking children, not because of wanting to have one. But affection. They simply like children. But ultimately, it's up to their reason in being so. I mean, buttoning up.

Going back to the point, I bet it does not happen in our society. Orang Malaysia lebih beranggapan bahawa pemakaian sedemikian sebagai polos dan kolot, ketinggalan zaman yang memang tidak mengikut arus perdana. Gahh. Hard time for those Malaysians who like to button up.

3. The hottest man is the one that will never touch you, until he got your ringer with silver ring 

Indeed. In Islam itself, we're allowed to touch ajnabi ONLY when we have married that particular girl. Proposal is not valid enough to be used as reason to verify our lust upon the said girl. Saya terbayangkan begini bhaa: kalau sudah pasti itu jodoh, kenapa perlu bertindak terburu-buru, memegang sana-sini? Bolehkan, buat benda tu lepas kahwin nanti.

The logic behind 'men fumbling over' is that, those men are not ready yet to take you as their partner. They know the relationship won't last and are afraid that they may leave without having/enjoying something in the girl. It's hard to find a male of such who will never take any physical and financial advantages from you <girl>.

4. Lelaki yang unik: tersenyum dalam keletihan dan menangis ketika perlu

Saya ndakdapat bayangkan oh, lelaki macam neh. Tersenyum dalam keletihan tu OK lagi, boleh lagi komen sikit-sikit. Tapi kalau menangis tu, bukan childish-kaa? <blurred>. OK-lah, I'll try to comment as reasonable as I can.

Lelaki yang tersenyum meskipun seharian bekerja/belajar/berjalan melayan naluri ber-shopping perempuan adalah mereka yang sangat komited dan tolak-ansur. Percayalah, lepas kahwin nanti, mereka akan jalankan tugas dengan sangat baik, bahkan akan membantu isteri mengemas rumah dan memasak <guhh. Memang bukan ciri saya LOL>. Bila berkeringat begitu, isteri tanyak, "Abang penat tak?". Kalau dia unik, maka dia akan tersenyum sambil menggeleng instead of saying, "Yaa.." atau "Tidak, sayang. Perkare kecik jee...".

Lelaki yang sebenar, IOW, maskulin ndakkan menahan emosinya, bagi memelihara keegoan. Meluahkan emosi melalui tangisan dan ketawa kuat adalah tanda bahawa mereka tidak dipengaruhi oleh dunia sekitar; they have their respective thought about how life should be and what it should mean. Unprovoked and stern. 

"Hahaha.. buruknya rupa dia nangis!", as to some would say <me too ;P>
<gahh, people's thougts. You could never satisfy 'em. Just cry, if you need to.

A man with this sort of attribute will have no problem building their own life. They know the bounds and limits, and they have no problem of adhering to the most recent renewal of it. In marriage, they can control emotion and not getting into outrageous state easily <gahh. Hate abusive men>.

5. Men are way hotter if they put God before anything

Yaa... cuba kamu tanya perempuan di luar sana bhaa, apa pengertian berpasangan buat mereka. Majoriti akan jawa, "Untuk memimpin saya" atau, "Untuk membawa saya ke syurga" atau, "Untuk mendidik saya" dan sebagainya yang mempunyai konotasi serupa. Ndak kiralah bagaimana rock atau grunge-nya seorang wanita, semuanya yang begitu pasti menjadikan perkahwinan sebagai jalan untuk mula berbuat baik; mula menambah iman dan bertanggungjawab. Ada bhaa, satu saying ni:

"Marriage is the end of life for men and the beginning for women"

Gahahh. Second thought, it's rather true. Perempuan neh, mereka lemah, perlukan perlindungan berterusan dari lelaki. Yang mampu menyelamatkan mereka adalah keegoan lelaki. Keegoan itu pula perlu dikawal <kalau ndak, habes dideranya isteri>, dan agama menyediakan undang-undang tertentu dalam mengawal keegoan itu.

So yeah, religion is part of a sexy man.

Ashraff Muslim is the best model for all young Malaysian male artists to follow. He's kinda religious. Well, kinda.

6. Lelaki yang seksi adalah lelaki yang membuatmu teruja bukan dengan sentuhan manja dan bisikan asmara, tetapi kata-kata biasa.

Gahh. Ini point buat saya rasa loya dan tidak berdaya. Bukan sebab terasa, tapi frasa tu bha... "sentuhan manja"?? "Bisikan asmara???? What the he-!?!? Anywa, saya perlu komen jugaklah, just to be fair with all the points.

Bagi saya, point ini boleh difahami melalui karisma <seingat saya, saya pernah tulis pasal karisma di blog lama. Malas neh mau cari, kamu bongkar sana>. For me, machismo is a matter of interpersonal skills. Some men out there do have the looks, but as they lack the charisma, they turn sour <jahat gila-gila statement>. Well, accept it, dude. You're not hot stuff <hell you, Sven. Wait.... SVEN!?>.

Melalui kata-kata biasa, seorang lelaki yang digelar hot stuff mampu menawan hati wanita. Kalau dia bercakap, mata seorang wanita pasti akan merenung bibirnya, ekspresi mukanya, gerak badan dan matanya. Apapun ceritanya, wanita tadi akan taat mendengar, sebagai alasan untuk terus memerhatikan kecantikan si lelaki. 

Nama lain bagi lelaki sebegini adalah si romantis, pujangga konvensional. Tidak perlu puitit gubahan ayatnya, yang penting dia bersuara, beratus wanita datang berbaris, sekadar untuk mendengar hembus nafas si lelaki tadi <gahh, saya boleh tulis novel lucah oh KASK LOL>. Lelaki berkarisma, kalau cerita pasal dusun buahnya di kampungpun, akan dipandang seksi. Sad thing I don't posses such attribute. OK, move on. Jangan layan sangat saya neh <crying>. Gahh.

7. Funny men are hot

If funny is the scale of man's hotness, then Jim Carrey is certainly the hottest guy around.

Kadang-kadang wanita ni sukar betul difahami. How can humorous guys look sexy!? I cannot brain!!!!!!

Actually, I can. Women are more to entertainment sometimes, and some of them think that sense of humor is a big chunk of entertainment. As women tend to see everything quite meticulous, quite serious, they can easily break down or having conflict <esp. women with career nowadays> within them. At this stage, they really need someone to- at least- erase those dilemmas, just for awhile. And that is why, nowadays, humorous guys always steal the spotlight.

Perfect countenance is nothing, when you lack the inner entity to entertain women <sounds playboy>.

8. Lelaki yang pernah mengalah dalam satu-satu pergaduhan (tapi tidak akan mengalah dalam pergaduhan main-main): jika kamu temuinya, maka cepat-cepat rebut. He's limited version!

We always fight and make peace. It's a circle of which, none
could escape. :D

This is real... maybe. Men have been created to have a higher dose of egoism than women. It is to constantly injects them with the sense of defensiveness from Nature's fury and to protect women <particularly, their possible mate><wait, why I sound so scientific??>.

But then, this is not an excuse for men to have authority upon women. Males are solely to protect, and not control over. Women are humans, ya see. So, we should not shackle them right to the tree of our own desire. Let them go, for women have so many dexterity than any other men have <excluding the Prophets>.

To respond to the point above, I would say, giving up for men is quite a hard thing to do. Whence he raise white flag in his debate with women, he will have the tendency to feel wrecked and worthless. This is not it. The coolest man ever, Prophet Muhammad SAWS never slain those who voiced their opinion in front of him. Yet, he was a strong leader.

So guys, giving up is not a sign of defeat; it is merely a symbolic of strong heart, acceptance towards defeat. Winning over is not the truest glory to man, but winning for. That's what counts. And girl, if you ever, by anyway- meet this kinds of man, grab him. He's the strongest.

9. Men who install retro or ridiculously weird fashions are charismatic

This does occur in America and all over the world. The indie in Malaysia:- is an exemplary for an edited version of retro, metro style. Girls nowadays are crazy about men with checkered shirt and fit jeans, and rug outfits, don't know why. Men with pompadour, quiff, slicked-back hair comb over hairstyles have people's thumb-ups now. The retrogression of hairstyles has brought upon new decadence of black metal, punk whatsoever ridiculous trend. Good thing.

Installing retro style needs a very high confidence. I mean, to walk with those- some would say- nerdy, birdy and boyish looks- really needs high self-esteem. That's why, I prefer to call these guys <the retro guys> as something of confidence, a conviction of a true hero. A manifestation of freedom.

Intrinsically, women prefer over retros because of that. Or is it because of the aesthetic values that this trend has? <Gotta re-think the point>. OK, move on.

10. Lelaki yang fokus satu soalan dengan muka serius adalah comel. Serius.

Saya blushing neh, baca point yang ini <kehh-terasa ndak bertempat>. Hahahah. Above is one example of a guy who focuses on a question by one of his fans. Does man really look beautiful when they focuses on something? <esp., question>. Kamu jawablah sendiri, wanita. Yang neh, saya malas sudah menulis <tunggulah bahagian ke-2>. Wassalam.