Just Do It

Salaam. This is a quick response to FarahMusa's comment in regards to the intention of mine in getting myself into elocution/allocation (I don't know which one). Firstly, I would really like to thank you for such uplifting comments. You are one of the best commentators there is. HAHAHA. Exaggeration, exaggeration.

Actually sister (mind if I use this term??), I have trauma and thus, phobia towards audition. It all began about three years ago, when I dared myself to enter a tournament. Here we go:

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It was 10 o'clock. All my friends had left, enjoying their breakfast. Some stayed in the class, probably were fasting. And there was I, sitting alone in the middle of the class, warring within. Constant fights congested my breath, and my thoughts. Should I do this? What if I fail? Will, all the lecturers laugh at me and making me as a laughingstock for the whole year? What if I say something rude unintentionally, because my mouth is very hard to control?

Loads of questions, turned into boulders of a biblical scale and and proportion. My shoulders felt unease, as my heartbeats beat as hard and as fast as it could. As if it will explode in any second. And a pal (whose name is better to be saved) came to me and ask the nearest to near-death experience I ever had.

"Don't you go to the poetry audition? You should give it a go.."

And that question was like a thunder, blasted my innate into millions of burnt and toasted pieces. I could hear my flesh being ripped apart, in the most metaphorical sense. Did not he/she have any other question than this?

"I wanna go, but..." I replied. Albeit it was hard to.

He/she shook her/his head in disappointment, and I could sense the sincerity of her/his action. So, I stood up and as if understanding what I was intended to, she/he gave me way. He/She even stood by me and smiled in a way, it supported me. I went.

I took a poem, I recited it with full emotion and expression (probably that was the ugliest ten minutes of my life). I even shouted, tried to impress the judge. I held the book with one hand, and was trying to make body language with the other hand.

And after about three minutes of ordeal, I managed to finish the whole poems and she commented (I could not remember any, but her critiques were something to the effect):

"Your voice, you need to show it. If you refused to, then I'm afraid this is the end of road for you. Try next time." *smiling*

KABOOM!! She nailed the comment right on my chest. Extremely painful and 'inspiring'. But I should not get angry with her. It was all my faults. Why did I bothered trying? Hush~

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So, that is my story and why I always have this turbulence in me whenever I see lecturer, esp., Language lecturers. They are quite strict in terminology and words choices.

GuruJiwang, pinjam gambar kau.